When do you stop clapping?

When do we stop applauding for our kids? Sometimes I watch parents with their children in my practice and they are trying so hard to be supportive, encouraging all the things we have come to believe are essentials for a parent.

So what’s wrong with that right? Well sometimes when you are applauding for something that was achieved a while ago it seems strange to be applauding months later. I guess my point is when a child is struggling to achieve success and we as parents want to be supportive clapping for past accomplishments is weird.

I have caught my self doing this several times and I needed to ask why. I think I figured it out. It is so difficult to watch out children struggle and have no ability to fix it.

Isn’t that what being a parent is the ability to fix it? To make it better.

So when faced with a situation where success is difficult to achieve we as parents clap for anything.

As a therapist I can tell the parents I speak to that you don’t need to clap for every word they say, every bite they eat or step they take.

As a parent I understand the compulsion to want to clap and savor the moment.

Having a child feel proud of their accomplishments is how they will motivate themselves to do more.

So why not clap?